The Unpleasantness

A friend of mine is an aspiring advice columnist and I've asked if The Unpleasantness could host his column. He agreed, but only after some vigorous Greco-Roman wrestling.

Dear Diablo,

My life seems empty and meaningless. I spend too much time alone, food
doesn't taste good, I sleep poorly and derive little satisfaction from the
things that formerly brought me great pleasure. Any ideas how I might get
out of this funk?

Desperate in Milwaukee


Dear DIM,

1. Get a life
2. Get a dog.
3. Drink better bourbon, and more of it more frequently.
4. Don't ever attempt contact me in any way, shape or form again, or I will
slap a restraining order on you so quick and hard you will beg for mercy. I
may also have you hunted down for sport and ritualistically slaughtered to
slake my unending bloodlust.

You're a pathetic whiner.

Love,
El Diablo

If you want advice from El Diablo, send an e-mail to theunpleasantness@yahoo.com. If you're unlucky, he'll answer.

Posted by The Unpleasantness on Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 8:37 AM | Permalink