You're getting a two-fer today because I neglected my bird watching duties yesterday. But give me a break. Being a superstar secret agent male model executive chef stud isn't all fun and games. Sometimes it's just fun. And games.
Labels: Watch the birdie
Mothers should be proud whenever they find pictures of their children up at Milwaukee Happy Hour. I only hope that someday when I have children (that I acknowledge) I'll have taught them that dry-humping in public during the daytime while holding a PBR isn't only appropriate, it's required to be a useful member of society.
I'm sick and tired of people telling me to say it with flowers. It's far too cliche and, to be frank, sneaking into my neighbor's yard to steal roses is getting riskier and riskier with every passing day, especially when I give them back to her as a sign of my affection and a plea to re-consider the restraining order. Seriously, how am I supposed to shower if she won't let me in her bathroom?
Back to the point. Here's an awesome meat font, even though it's really not so much a font as it is a bunch of pictures of raw beef packaged in the shapes of letters. I can honestly say this has to be the most mouth watering font ever in the history of anything!
[h/t swissmiss]
Many years ago I worked for this guy. Whenever I asked him for a raise, this was his response. It was also his response when I would ask him if he wanted cream or sugar in his coffee, or if he would sign off on my expense reports. Man, those were some good times!Labels: Watch the birdie
Today I received a MySpace friend request from a bar called Have a Nice Day Cafe. At first, this freaked me out a bit, because I was wondering how in the world a bar became sentient and then managed to create its own MySpace account, much less start seeking out friends. Then I realized that was just a very bigoted view for me to have and that I shouldn't be so judgemental. Bars are people too and should be treated as such. Therefore, from this day forth, I shall treat all bars as I treat all of my friends: by sneaking in and stealing all their liquor while they aren't paying attention, vomiting in their kitchen sinks and passing out in their bathrooms. Now, if only bars could somehow have girlfriends, I could really treat them the way I treat my friends.
In some parts of the country it's an election day. And while a number of people are out looking for votes, we here at The Unpleasantness are looking for birdies!Labels: Watch the birdie
I call this piece of work Emptiness. In a sense, it is both beautiful and sad at the same time. Beautiful, because one can only imagine the lucious brown liquids that once flowed among the now silent ice cubes, yet the colors and textures left behind are warm and inviting. Sad, because there are two freakin' empty glasses there and the bartender still hasn't noticed! Who the heck do I have to sleep with to get some service around here?!?! Who? You? Well...alright then...
Some people are ashamed to be seen on The Unpleasantness because the content of the site isn't necessarily family friendly. This fellow is ashamed for an entire set of other reasons, not the least of which is his pink shirt.Labels: Watch the birdie
Milwaukee Happy Hour has redesigned its layout, which means it's now that much more difficult for me to find pictures of drunk girls. I hate learning how to do new things, but I also hate violating my parole, and lurking in ladies' rooms waiting to snap photos of girls nearly passing out is strictly in violation of that. So I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to navigate around this thing until...whoah hey now there! Oh yeah...there they are... 
What happens when you meet some strange guy in a bar, feed him vast amounts of alcohol, invite him into your home and leave the medicine cabinet unlocked? Frankly, I have no idea. But the friend of mine who left me his keys to his apartment over the weekend should be finding out just...about...now.Labels: Watch the birdie
