If there's one thing I know to be true, it's that my endearing personality and rock star charm make people want to be my friend and give me things without my even having to ask. Just look at this young lady as proof. I didn't even have to ask her to give me the finger, she just did. See? If that doesn't show that people love me, I don't know what does. And I have a fairly healthy concept of love, which is always good.Labels: Watch the birdie
Generally I'm not one to buy into coordinated drinking events. Those are for amateurs and I consider myself a seasoned professional. The difference between us professionals and amateurs is that we not only know the exact amounts of alcohol required to make us stronger, better looking and more charming, but also exactly how much alcohol is required to make other people better looking.
Remember when the Olsen twins were little and everyone thought they looked like those troll dolls you shook around to make their hair all crazy and stuff? I do. In fact I used to hope that one day John Stamos would realize that very thing and start spinning one of them around just to see if it was true. Not that I encourage shaking babies or anything like that, just that it would have been neat-o to see a real live troll.
No, not because of the gesture he's making in this mid-70s photo, but rather because of his haircut.
If I didn't know better, I'd say the above picture was taken by Picasso. But I happen to have it on good authority that Picasso was 1)a painter, and is 2)dead. What's actually taking place is a pre-arranged meeting between Willem Dafoe and Adrien Brody after the Oscars to finally settle which of the two has the most geometrically awkward facial features. They were going to duke it out but then they realized it might end up with one of their faces looking more normal, and then who would all the fat chicks in Hollywood sleep with?
It was only a matter of time before Tom Cruise got caught off guard and forgot that his marriage is supposed to cover up his distaste for women. Here we see him thoroughly enjoying what should be the pleasure of kissing his wife. Instead, it looks more like he's getting punched in the face with Katie Holmes' cheek. For crying out loud, the guy's an actor! You'd think he'd be able to make kissing his wife look a little more, oh, I dunno, genuine! And Katie kind of looks like she's getting a kiss from that creepy uncle who only shows up at weddings but you have to be nice to otherwise he'll drink even more and follow you into the bathroom later. 
Apparently Geico's caveman TV spots have been so successful that ABC is planning on basing a sitcom on the characters. Either that, or they truly have run out of ideas. Of course, this isn't the first time characters from advertising got their own show. Remember Max Headroom? Yeah...we all know how well that worked out.
