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Will you be my friend?

Today I received a MySpace friend request from a bar called Have a Nice Day Cafe. At first, this freaked me out a bit, because I was wondering how in the world a bar became sentient and then managed to create its own MySpace account, much less start seeking out friends. Then I realized that was just a very bigoted view for me to have and that I shouldn't be so judgemental. Bars are people too and should be treated as such. Therefore, from this day forth, I shall treat all bars as I treat all of my friends: by sneaking in and stealing all their liquor while they aren't paying attention, vomiting in their kitchen sinks and passing out in their bathrooms. Now, if only bars could somehow have girlfriends, I could really treat them the way I treat my friends.

Oh yeah, and Have a Nice Day Cafe has a website. With pictures. Of drunk girls. Awesome Kong.

If you've gotten this far, congratulations. You can read more by going to the archives. Or you can just imagine what else might be here without clicking anything. Might I recommend a fine bottle of bourbon to accompany your fantasies? I thought so.