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Malcolm in the middle of the Pack

I have a friend who looked exactly like Frankie Muniz long before Frankie Muniz even existed. Even though he tries to laugh it off, we all know that inside he's crying. So I'm thinking it might be some consolation to my friend that Frankie is moving away from acting (if that's what you want to call it) and towards a more manly thing like auto racing. Of course, Frankie may end up in a horribly disfiguring accident and the universe would balance itself out by having my friend attacked by a rabid howler monkey. With a switchblade. That knows karate.

Now, after spending so much time talking about Frankie Muniz, my friend and monkeys, here's a picture of Hilary Duff, who was in a movie with Frankie and has spent all her time since washing off the cooties. If my suspicions are correct, she's been using the drool soaked love letters I've been sending her to do so.

If you've gotten this far, congratulations. You can read more by going to the archives. Or you can just imagine what else might be here without clicking anything. Might I recommend a fine bottle of bourbon to accompany your fantasies? I thought so.