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I know the feeling

I have this recurring nightmare that after gorging myself at Taco Bell and while driving home, I suddenly realize that what I just ate is making a sudden run for the border, so it's imperative that I start driving as fast as I can. But then a cop pulls up behind me, turns on his lights and insists I pull over, which I do in spite of my undeniable need to expunge the evidence of my most recent meal. As he walks up to my car and I'm performing a clench unlike any clench I've ever clenched before, I imagine my face would look something like this.

Oh yeah, and Britney Spears is the Real Ultimate Power, which is only one step below me, the Super Fantastic Ultimate Power Booyah!

If you've gotten this far, congratulations. You can read more by going to the archives. Or you can just imagine what else might be here without clicking anything. Might I recommend a fine bottle of bourbon to accompany your fantasies? I thought so.