A Treatise on Dane "Tool" Cook
Once, this girl I was dating made me sit down and watch a half hour of Dane Cook's stand-up routine on You Tube. Apparently a bunch of her friends thought he was the funniest thing since sliced bread, which now makes a lot of sense because sliced bread really isn't that funny at all. In fact, sliced bread is almost exactly the opposite of funny, unless it's buttered with Father Guido Sarducci, in which case it would be the funniest thing ever. Note how with all that I just said, nothing points to Dane Cook being anywhere near funny. That's because he and his fans are all tools.I've heard of this knob-shine being referred to as the "frat boys' comic," which means a lot of guys are going around saying things like "yah, brah, Dane Cook is the shizzit." Since most of these guys are white, that they're using words like "shizzit" to describe anything should be the first clue that their opinions are about as worthless as Dane Cook's entire routine. All we can hope for is that the ghost of Richard Pryor, who once said "If you ain't funny then get the fuck off the stage, it's that simple," will haunt Cook and set his head on fire.
And since you've tolerated my rant, here's a picture of Rachel McAdams, who is as hot as Dane Cook is un-funny.
